ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
