Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.