The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
