that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.