her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
