If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
