She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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