Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
