Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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