Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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