I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
