if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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