I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
