Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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