wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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