Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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