Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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