Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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