she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
