Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
