Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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