lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
