so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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