this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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