She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The adults are the big ones right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
