My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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