i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
