i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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