just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
