Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
