my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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