none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
