Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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