at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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