His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
