Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
