Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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