i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
