we're blogging at a bar
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
