Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
