I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
