she was so not down for the gang bang
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
