He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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