Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
