if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
