Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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