Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
