They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize