Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
