Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
