My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she smelled like a LAN party
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
