You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
