At least make sure they are 18
Why
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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