why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
