Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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