You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She told me I should be a condom model.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
