You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
