Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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