I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
