i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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