It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
