At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he thought i was a dude.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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