none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
