she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
