Its about making memories worth repressing
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
